memoirs of a young woman

optometrists are optimists.

2011-10-22T08:34:00.002-05:00

i wore my fake (but quite cute) glasses to a training seminar this past thursday evening.

here's where it gets weird. i pre-decided that i was going to be far-sighted and faithfully pulled my glasses on to read the handouts and to take notes. sometimes i decide to be near-sighted. other times i decided that i am a typical glasses wearer and keep them on at all times.

seriously. who does that?!

20% more free

2011-10-10T18:33:00.002-05:00

why is it that the conditioner bottle i have has 20% more product than my shampoo?

i've come to a conclusion - it's for people who were hardwired as i am. observe the dilemma:
i am coming to the end of my shampoo bottle but still have about 30% more conditioner left. i don't want to be wasteful, but i also have a really hard time using one brand or even specific kind of shampoo without it's nicely matching conditioner counterpart. what they want you to do is to then go out and buy shampoo thus making you a customer for life.

but i have fooled them.

i just keep the 30% left of conditioner and use it as shaving cream. either that or they just sit in my shower cluttering the sides ridiculously.

dancing in the park.

2011-08-22T23:58:00.000-05:00

so my boyfriend planned out an amazing 3 days in chicago for us before we went up to wisconsin for a wedding i was to be in.

one of the oh-so-fun plans he had for us was to spend an evening taking a dance lesson in the park.

my interpretation: waltzing under the stars with other couples wearing 50s style outfits.
reality: the funniest belly dancing lesson i've ever witnessed. the only one, too, incidentally!

what a wonderful evening!

salinger's wikipedia trail

2011-05-08T19:34:00.001-05:00

from franny & zooey to salinger to his 18 year old mistress' writings in 17 magazine (j.d. was 53 at the time). how interesting it is to have such information at our fingertips. this is just the conclusion of the article, but it's quite interesting if you have a bit of free time (http://www.nytimes.com/books/98/09/13/specials/maynard-mag.html)

"Now my goal is simpler. I want to be happy. And I want comfort--nice clothes, a nice house, good music and good food, and the feeling that I'm doing some little thing that matters. I'll vote and I'll give to charity, but I won't give myself. I feel a sudden desire to buy land--not a lot, not as a business investment, but just a small plot of earth so that whatever they do to the country I'll have a place where I can go--a kind of fallout shelter, I guess. As some people prepare for their old age, so I prepare for my 20's. A little house, a comfortable chair, peace and quiet--retirement sounds tempting" - Joyce Maynard

the m's.

2011-04-10T15:23:00.000-05:00

i was aghast.
i had just finished our book club book of 500+ pages in 2 sittings.
i rushed to half price books to pick the second & third in the trilogy.
i had in mind that the author's last name was myers.
as i arrived slightly out of breath at the "m's" in the young adult fiction section, the only book series i saw were a little series called twilight.
oh! the agony. what to do?
since i didn't see the hunger games anyways, i slowly walked out. dejected. ashamed of myself.
then i accidentally drove straight to book people.
i found myself walking expectantly towards the "m's" but still couldn't find what i knew i shouldn't have.

twist:
an employee at book people asked if he could help me with anything. i sheepishly said i was looking for the hunger games by stephanie myers. he relieved my agony and said that the series was actually written by suzanne collins and that it was quite popular among more well read patrons of the store.

then i paid $19.95 for a book for the first time in my life.
i justified it by buying the third in the trilogy online with an amazon.com gift card.

the end.

coldplay songs.

2011-02-23T11:47:00.000-06:00

from where i'm sitting on my fantastic orange chair i can see 4 clocks.

of the 4, 2 don't work.

is that weird?

IKEA. the store.

2011-02-10T09:37:00.000-06:00

so jonathan and i decided to head up to IKEA to get some stuff to organize his room and to get me a $4 lamp to take better pictures for my other blog. it went a little something like this...

fabulous soup.

2011-02-03T10:17:00.001-06:00

in junior high, i used to babysit a girl down the street, leigha. while i can't seem to remember what games we played, what pictures we drew, or what cartoons we watched, i do vividly remember coming home and telling my mom about this amazing soup leigha's mom had waiting for us on the stove for dinner.

my mom, being the kind mother she is, asked leigha's mom the recipe so she could make this fabulous soup.

turns out it was beef & veggie soup from a can.

here's to classy taste.
here's to being really, really tired of eating soup all week.
here's to a quick recovery!

ideas?

2011-02-01T09:09:00.000-06:00

i started a new blog. it won't replace this one by any means, but it will give me a bit of a creativity boost.(http://thatolthing.blogspot.com)

so here's the question: how do i better link the two? or should i not? ideas?

oops.

2011-01-12T16:52:00.000-06:00

one of my favorite people gave me the cutest christmas present. it was beautifully wrapped and contained some fabulous lotion and a mysterious foil wrapped ball. it smelled heavenly.

wait.

let me preface something first. i've started working out which means that i've been considerably more hungry as of late. okay. proceed.

well i unwrapped the sweetly smelling treat only to find out the hard way that it was sweetly smelling bath salt. and not so sweetly tasting.

now i'm in the mood for white chocolate...and a bath...

just a few...

2011-01-03T22:06:00.000-06:00

finishing a book and immediately grabbing another

rearranging as i clean

cooking with veggies i've grown

jean-pierre jeune

mint pea soup

taking a very full box to the dumpster

very round balloons

santigold

going to bed ahead of schedule

broad stripes

national aids awareness day.

2010-12-01T18:50:00.000-06:00

today i threw away my peeling black hobo purse i bought while i lived in honduras.
today i threw away my peeling brown pointy shoes i bought at target 5 years ago.
today i threw away my peeling brown vintage purse i got at 2 gals junk.
today i threw away my holey black shoes i bought at target for working at the cafe on broadway.

today was a sad day.

today i bought a replacement pair of black shoes from target.
today i ordered a vintage black purse from etsy that was on sale.

today i tried to determine what these two sets of actions i did said i valued.
today i failed to reach any real determinations.

jeans.

2010-10-20T15:00:00.002-05:00

some days jeans just feel oppressive.
today is one of those days.

i want to ride my bicycle.

2010-08-26T20:41:00.001-05:00

i decided to go on a bike ride this evening in my new neighborhood. what an amazing series of moments it turned out to be. observe:

two adorable hispanic women in long skirts running down the street the opposite way as me at a pretty hefty pace from the smallest kitten i've ever seen.

one man in a dark blue sedan swerving in the street. calls out "sorry pretty lady." and then again once i'm a good ways down the street "my name's herb by the way..." thus crossing that street off any future bike routes.

i greet creeper chris with the obligatory yet stoic, "hey." he proceeds to ask me where my car is. i say it's neither here nor there. thus crossing that street off any future bike routes as well.

i then proceed to ride by a hoard of small children. one whispers to another all too loudly "flaca" which is enough to make any 26 year old woman feel wonderful despite the dinner of french fries she inhaled just moments before.

the next street over and i pass by the adorable hispanic women again. i ask them if they've managed to get free from the cat. we chuckle together while one translates to the other cheerfully. next time i'll speak in spanish.

on my final lap (read: no more non-creepy men streets left) i see a small boy trying desperately to push is bike with training wheels over the enormous mountains they call speed bumps. i insert a witty comment as to their size and the difficulty of riding a bike in this neighborhood. the boy runs to his mother terrified of the tall white girl on the multi-colored tie-dyed speckled bike.

then i return home.
and thus my world is a better, brighter place.

fragile? i think not.

2010-08-17T17:10:00.000-05:00

as a society, i now believe that we are simply too careful with cartons of eggs.

observe: austin traffic at 4:30 this afternoon on 71 heading east from target proved to be a bit stop and go. in true intramural champion ('02-'06, '07-'09) style, i managed to catch the grocery bag of bread and eggs no less than seven times successfully. so i really only missed once. i soundly reasoned that i should leave them on the floorboard of the passenger side of the car since they didn't really have any place to fall from there.

fast forward: i'm at home. i'm imagining the worst. i was planning on making fried eggs on toast for dinner. i currently have no back up besides the black eyes peas in the garden i keep forgetting to water. i open the carton. only one egg is damaged. 1/12 which roughly translates to 8.3% of the carton. not bad by my calculation.

from now on, i won't be so darn careful.

dominating at dominos.

2010-08-08T15:38:00.000-05:00

yesterday i joined some of my new neighbors for a bbq quickly turned domino tournament. i won.

the ever sharp 95 year old miss rosa trash talked 19 year old dwight and i incessantly. i made snarky comments about my undisputed winning streak. avon watched with the occasional chuckle. mississippi stopped by to grab some food and take it back to his place to watch the rest of some really important ufc fight.

dwight and i ran into gorde as we walked back and was upset that we had domino's pizza and didn't invite him. (a hard thing to explain away to a man with a severe mental handicap and a severe love of pizza!)

it felt like a family gathering. i feel like i'm home here. and i like that.

i don't think it matters which came first.

2010-07-26T18:57:00.001-05:00

in an attempt to eat something different for dinner than the ever-prolific squash that can't seem to stop growing in our gardens and inspired by a mistake the chef made from dinner last night, i piled my plate high with couscous, topped it with baked chicken, and completed the stack with a sunny side up egg. about 3/4 of the way through my meal, i realized how sick it is to eat chicken topped with an egg.

needless to say i didn't finish my meal.

needless to say i'm still hungry.

a run on sentence for you.

2010-07-04T15:57:00.000-05:00

for as long as i can remember i've had this gripping fear that if i ever used the handicap stall in the bathroom when all the other stalls weren't in use, that when i opened the stall door to leave i would see a very, very sad lady in a wheelchair shifting uncomfortably and shaking her head at me as she gestures at the other open stalls that i could have used that she can't with a confused look in her eye.

the end.

blurry lines of vision.

2010-06-27T21:19:00.000-05:00

so my friend rikki send me this fabulous pair of glasses that i'm tempted to wear daily. they're what she likes to call invisible glasses. i'll let you figure out what she means by that.

lately when i wear them to the office and take them off to clean them, i have this almost un-ignorable urge to continue in my fantasy world and pretend like i'm wearing glasses to correct my lazy eye.

somehow this seem to cross the line between hipster fashion and living a lie.

but oh! what a blurry line it has become.

accidental liar.

2010-06-16T17:20:00.000-05:00

i would like to recant my last blog post. i need the caffeine to get rid of this headache.

coffee. a beverage.

2010-06-09T09:26:00.000-05:00

this morning i made a monumental discovery. although i love coffee, i don't drink it for the caffeine to help me wake up in the morning as i has once assumed. this realization became apparent when i left my freshly bought coffee at my friend's house for the 2nd time. i woke up this morning, started the hot water for my little french press and dumped in my accidentally bought decaf coffee grounds from the freezer.

i don't need the caffeine. i need the morning routine that waking up and making coffee has become.

bring on the decaf.

or maybe i'll start a new original morning routine. one that entails lots and lots of paper mache.

gifted uniquely.

2010-05-25T15:22:00.000-05:00

i feel as though i have a unique sense of humor and that has uniquely equipped me to work with some of the residents of the community i serve. observe:

me: how are you this morning?
resident: not good at all.
me: oh no! why not? what happened?
resident: i hate this trailer park.
me: why?
resident: well, because i can't swim.

and then i proceeded to grin the rest of the morning. i love missing lines of thinking. sometimes when someone asks me how i'm doing, i'd like to tell them matter of factly that i'm doing well because i had fish for dinner last week.

i also like using words in the wrong figure of speak. like making "fact" into an adverb as seen above. especially if you have to over-enunciate for the word to be understood and open your jaw really widely.

the clash.

2010-05-23T15:21:00.000-05:00

i wonder if sometimes you just have to make a decision. you weight the facts the best you can, and then you just decide. if you're wrong, at least you tried. what does it even look like to make decisions based upon your heart if your feeling can't be trusted because they come and go. what if i only feel the way i do because of the last movie i happened to watch? what if i feel differently tomorrow?

blerg.

what makes me smile.

2010-05-15T18:08:00.000-05:00

to continue my list theme from last post, i would like to make a list of the things i can see from where i am currently sitting in my apartment that make me happy:

-small bluebird of happiness figurine
-my grandpa's old trunks
-my over-sized and slightly broken black and white clock
-the green straw in my brownish tinted hand-me-down glass
-my newest painted chair project
-my ever-growing pile of yellow books
-the poem on my wall rikki wrote out for me in a way only she could
-the font on the mug with a "j" on it
-that my counter is empty and freshly cleaned
-the birthday card on my refrigerator my parent's sent me this year
-the blooming wandering jew plant outside my window
-my cigar box filled with scrabble tiles
-the colors gray and purple together on my shelves turned side table
-the lime green frame my dad made me with left over wood from a project with claire
-the old lady lamp i traded brittney for a shirt at a garage sale we had
-the fact the most everything in my apartment has a story behind it

my how i am blessed.

listography.

2010-05-10T22:47:00.000-05:00

in an effort to get everything off my mind and my heart this evening i've prepared a list of what is taking up space:

responsible resourcefulness
keeping up with old friends
friends in other countries
friends moving to other countries
19 year olds living in the woods with their fiances
being taken advantage of
willfully letting others take advantage of me
living in my apartment for the next 3 months
not living in my apartment after 3 months
asking too much of others
when spaghetti isn't just spaghetti
when is rest selfish
when is pushing yourself to give too much selfish
alanis morisette
starting an orphanage
continuing my work with the homeless and formerly homeless
people coming and going through the ministry i work with
defining success correctly and independently
club dread
working inside my god-given personality
breaking through past my god-given personality
the sum of my habits, intentional and otherwise
the root of my dysfunctionality
prioritizing good things
when efficiency needs to be re-evaluated
a total eclipse of the heart

innate clumsiness - is it genetic?

2010-05-09T15:51:00.002-05:00

somehow i've managed to trip over my own toenail and split it down the middle.

seriously. who does that?

egg-actly.

2010-05-07T08:31:00.000-05:00

so i've been buying the brown eggs at the store lately and every single time i crack open one of those suckers i expect the "white" of the egg to be brown. and it's not. and i'm surprised.

also they're shockingly difficult to crack.

but maybe the bigger lesson has to do with expectations. i'm struggling with knowing what are reasonable things i can expect out of my day. otherwise i don't feel as though i'm living up to my fullest potential and in the non-profit world, we all know there is never a shortage of people to serve.

realistic expectations. i'll start with the eggs.

ms 150

2010-04-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

last weekend i went to see my friend henry cross the finish line for his bike ride from houston to austin to raise money for MS. it was such an amazing experience to witness. i stood at the last turn before the finish line and got to watch the riders round the bend and see the finish line with the capital building in the background after two full day of riding.

i watched work groups wait for each other so they could cross together. i saw families crossing hand in hand. i saw people with health problems fighting to finish strong. i watched children, classmates, and mother cheering for everyone who passed by.

and it was beautiful.

west and allison.

2010-04-17T17:31:00.000-05:00

so i just watched a movie called all the days before tomorrow. in it's description, it claims to be a "quirky episodic tale." how could one refuse such a plot line? i think i enjoyed it mainly because it felt like a series of snap shots of real life. no huge crisis or turning point. musical score was there but more often than not, it was the silence of reality.

for some reason, it really captured me. it's nice to enter into someone else's life for 100 minutes. simple. no emotional energy. it doesn't really matter if people turn out happy or not because they do not exist.

all in all, a nice break this afternoon.

sometimes.

2010-03-31T23:11:00.001-05:00

sometimes the weight of responsibility feels too heavy to bear. sometimes i wonder why i am so unbelievably blessed and why i feel so called to turn that back to others.

sometimes i think too much.

where do they have book events in austin?

2010-03-23T13:50:00.000-05:00

every time i go to the bank after work, i pass by the alamo drafthouse on w. anderson ln. under the list of currently playing movies is always the phrase "book events here." until this afternoon, i always wondered why they would consistently publicize with such generalities. if a famous author was in town, wouldn't they advertise him or her by name?

then i realized that "book" in this statement was a verb and not an adjective.

aaaaand i'm off to garden.

a fan of the enneagram

2010-03-08T13:59:00.000-06:00

it's funny. i don't like to be put into boxes, but i'm fascinated with personality tests. a seeming inconsistancy. but when i read myself on the test i feel as though i'm somehow more normal.

observe. on the enneagram test, i'm a type fiv3:

Whatever the sources of their anxieties may be—relationships, lack of physical strength, inability to gain employment, and so forth—average Fives tend not to deal with these issues. Rather, they find something else to do that will make them feel more competent. The irony is that no matter what degree of mastery they develop in their area of expertise, this cannot solve their more basic insecurities about functioning in the world. For example, as a marine biologist, a Five could learn everything there is to know about a type of shellfish, but if her fear is that she is never going to be able to run her own household adequately, she will not have solved her underlying anxiety.

and that, friends, is exactly what i'm doing with my life. read more about my personality here.

and i don't even really like parsley.

2010-03-02T16:21:00.001-06:00

so i got home from work today feeling kind of sluggish. early morning staff meeting on to my self-imposed last day at the soup kitchen with the tuesday crew i've come to really love on to managing and updating calibration records at the infant incubator company i'm working for part time.

i went outside to check on my new tomato transplant that i lovingly have named roger and lo and behold the parsley seeds i'd planted last week had begun to sprout. i literally jumped for joy! what a wonderful and surprising surprise!

moral of the story: gardening makes me happy and it could make you happy too.

the end.

storytelling 101

2010-02-28T11:21:00.002-06:00

i had this great story i was forming in my mind at some point this week that i was excited about posting but for the life of me i can't remember what it was.

now that's a great story.

and it's only february.

2010-02-22T21:10:00.000-06:00

i sure am looking forward to the day when i don't have to lug in all of my plants inside when it's supposed to freeze. summer, are you coming soon? it takes several trips and i can't really water them when they're in the apartment. maybe i could build...oh wait...i don't have much free time these days...back to work...

my homemade formula for my current life stage.

2010-02-19T19:50:00.000-06:00

time and intentionality somehow seem to have a frustratingly inverse relationship.

mars loves venus.

2010-02-15T18:53:00.000-06:00

i was looking up lyrics to the brunette's album and the first four links i clicked were really annoying advertisements. can they do that? and the link i clicked even was part of the song i was looking for. tricky.

wikipedia mix ups

2010-02-12T23:15:00.000-06:00

so i got a brief cnn alert that bill clinton was in the hospital and decided to check it out later today. my brother has my google page set up so that wikipedia results show up on the right column of the screen. when i typed "bill clinton" into google, hillary clinton's wikipedia page came up.

does anyone else think that this is really funny?

friday breakfasts with kp.

2010-02-07T15:49:00.002-06:00

the highlight of my week:

friday breakfasts from Jen Ardill on Vimeo.

2010-02-03T08:46:00.001-06:00

my life in february thus far.

2010-02-02T22:31:00.000-06:00

so i have the ending of the short story i've been writing for a year or two now written out on a church bulletin and another scrap of notebook paper, but i can't seem to find the time? the bravery? the confidence? to actually type it up and add it to my existing manuscript. and i do realize that's silly - typing the ending had no significance whatsoever...and yet...i can't seem to do it.

why?

also, i really should wear tights more.

so go get a drink.

2010-01-27T14:03:00.000-06:00

gosh I've been thirsty this week.

your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.

2010-01-24T13:45:00.000-06:00

to the other individuals who braved the dj mel dance party at the highball last night, i thank you for your inspirational personalities set to music.

to the tall guy in the plaid shirt and glasses, i'm sorry if i gave you the wrong idea by staring: you reminded me of a guy i used to work with at the cafe on broadway.

to the girl on stage who kept us mesmerized by her killer dance moves and who robyn may have mentioned having a girl crush on, i applaud you.

to whoever was responsible for the chards of glass on the dance floor, i just want you to know that i am not looking forward to pulling their remains out of my loafers this afternoon.

and to the girl in the black dress with the tendency to flail her arms, i'm sorry if it is my fault that i accidentally put my arm in your armpit.

kitchen tales.

2010-01-21T13:45:00.000-06:00

i seem to have a lot of potlucks in my life. much more now that i'm in austin than ever before. i wish this weren't a problem but i'm an experimental cook and rarely wish i had written down my recipe to repeat the offense.

i volunteered to make dessert for the future farmers gathering tonight. please no comments on my dinner companion choice.

robyn gave me this witty cookbook entitled sausepans and the single girl: bachelor-bait recipes and dazzling ideas for entertaining by jinx morgan and judy perry a while ago and i decided that it was time to try it out. not that i'm in the market for a man any more. i just think it's a funny book. and a funny concept. i feel like i'm digging myself in an unnecessary hole.

abrupt subject change.

so i misread 1/2 pounds of butter to be 1 1/2 pounds of butter. luckily i caught my mistake before going to my local h.e.b. or beginning the baking process. either way, though, does anyone else find it disconcerting that butter in the recipe is measured in pounds? maybe that's what makes the cookies taste so good?

the last future farmers meeting i brought really small crumbly shortbread cookies and had to leave before i saw anyone's reaction. surely cookies with pounds of butter will trump by previous contribution thus fooling people into believing i can cook.

only time will tell, my friend. only time will tell.

no maintence necessary.

2010-01-20T11:18:00.000-06:00

i've decided that the easiest job in the world would be to own a parking lot.

even the barista was sick.

2010-01-17T16:39:00.000-06:00

so i've been doing my best to ward off a sore throat among a city full of sick people. this is usually done following my mother's age-old theory that "you're not sick. you're thirsty." so as any good daughter would do, i've been drinking tons of water as of late.

and now i'm off to church.

not a great combination.

ruffles, flowers, and neutrals

2010-01-16T17:00:00.001-06:00

so i was looking up some songs from an anthropologie play list that jessica sent me and this is the first one i found:

although not quite what anthro was getting at, i'm sure, isn't this how you want to dance to this song? also, i'm impressed that's he's still dancing four minutes later.

me - three years ago

2010-01-14T12:20:00.000-06:00

as i was attempting to organize some files on my computer, i discovered a paper i wrote my senior year of college (dated january 16th 2006). this excerpt must be shared:

I respect originality and deep thinking. I respect doing things with excellence. I respect those who love the seemingly unlovable. I respect people who think differently than I do. I respect people who can fight the temptation to compartmentalize their life. I respect people who listen to non-mainstream music. I respect people with confidence. I respect people who read. I respect people who give others the benefit of the doubt. I respect consistency. I respect people who can wake up from naps in a good mood. I respect authenticity. I respect people who know more than one language. I respect people who can see outside their own lives and into the lives of others. I respect people who have figured out how grace and justice can coexist. I respect people who do not have anything to prove. I respect people who know Michael Jackson’s Thriller dance. And I respect honesty spoken in love.

i can't for the life of me remember what the assignment was!

my plants are in the house while i am outside.

2010-01-10T13:48:00.001-06:00

it's free week here in the lovely yet chilly city of austin, texas which means last night we were able to check out up and coming artists at the beauty bar, beerland, and stubbs guilt-free. cassettes were sold, swooping bangs were brushed aside by men and women alike, and those not wearing skinny jeans were scorned.

in between concerts, my eclectic group of friends and i went to club de ville in an attempt to stay warm after stopping by the most amazing hot dog stand on red river. they were playing some funky beat so of course we started dancing in what an employee later mentioned to us was simply a hallway.

at one point, i was showing sarah and sheena my amazingly awkward "hackey sack" dance moves (which, of course, requires no hackey sack) when a man in a bear fur-like hat commented on my moves. he said if i didn't patent them in two weeks he would like to claim the rights. i agreed mainly because i didn't have any idea what to tell the man in the distracting hat.

anyone know how to patent ridiculous dance moves?

so apparently i'm not a designer?

2010-01-09T18:31:00.001-06:00

i've been working on a brochure for the trailer park ministry (and a website - www.kprojectmlf.wordpress.com) and it has become very clear to me why people get degrees in these things before they attempt them (or at the very least date people who know how to work with wordpress...)

i'm feeling much more confident about the site than the pamphlet oddly enough.

i have the ideas, but how do i get them to the computer? i think possibly, that using microsoft paint isn't super helpful but i don't know what else to use.

be honest, are handmade brochures tacky?
be honest, is anyone with a graphic design degree free tomorrow?

current pet peeve:

2010-01-04T17:00:00.000-06:00

billboards that say "do billboards work? just did!"

maybe it just worked if the purpose of billboards to get you to simply look at them. what it should say, in my humble opinion, is "do people look at billboards? well you did!"

also they seem to use ugly fonts.

where o where has my little phone gone?

2009-12-30T12:36:00.000-06:00

i've always felt like i've been on the verge of crazy. today has confirmed that hypothesis.

i recently misplaced my phone in my one bedroom apartment.

this does not make me crazy.

what makes me crazy is where i kept expecting for it to show up. when i checked my mailbox this morning a small part of me honestly thought it may be sitting next to the january issue of o magazine. when i reached for a five dollar bill to pay for my latte this afternoon, a small part of me honestly thought it may have somehow fit into my hobo wallet.

and that, my friends is what makes me crazy.

please still be my friend and don't be offended when i don't answer my phone that has still not shown up in my freezer.

and ransdell, i won't be able to meet you in vegas for new year's eve. my apologies.

love american style.

2009-12-27T10:48:00.000-06:00

i like it when you have people in your life that know you well enough to get you what you would have put on your christmas list had you made one this year.

what amazing people i have in my life!

it's a long one.

2009-12-22T18:32:00.003-06:00

Every Friday morning for about 3 months now, I have been going to my friend Steven’s trailer for a breakfast with a ministry called KP. KP serves the members of the HOW (Habitat on Wheels) community in the trailer park out by the airport.

A few weeks ago I was talking with Avon, a quiet man with a huge belly who waits a good awkward second before making any response to your questions but has a wonderful sense of humor that makes me laugh out loud in surprise. I asked Avon if they ever had carolers in the trailer park in an attempt at conversation while we were waiting for the eggs Chris and Tina were cooking. He replied, “Not that I recall,” in his deep slow voice. So I causally mentioned that we should all go caroling.

Lloyd, a man with deep set wrinkles around his eyes due to years of smoking, grey hair to his shoulders that he always wears back in a small tucked under bun at the nape of his neck, and the giver of the best hugs you’ll ever receive, overheard and decided that this is what we should do.

So we decided to do it. Sunday night. 7:00.

Steven made a nice pot of decaf coffee and had warm brownies on the stove when I arrived.

Risa was already there donned with her bright red Christmas sweater and quick wit. Then Michelle and Tim trickled in and I called Lloyd to make sure he was on his way.

Michelle and Tim are the newly weds of the group. Michelle has a smile that, despite the fact that she is missing many of her front teeth, will brighten up any room. Her smiles seem to be few and far between these days as she finds herself continually drawn back to the street in her addiction to the heartbreak of her husband. Tim hobbles at her side due to an incident a few months ago when he was high and jumped off a building to impress his bride, but manages to get around okay these days.

We decided to sing a bit in Steven’s trailer to see what we were working with. I think we sounded beautiful.

Steven and Lloyd had procured hymnals to help us with the more obscure verses of Away in a Manger and we set out with candles in hand because I insisted that “real” carolers hold candles. Turns out that we wouldn’t have been able to see without them - who knew that was why carolers held them?

As we walked to the first house Risa quickly realized that she needed to be wearing her glasses to read from the hymnal, but needed to not be wearing her glasses to walk. Quite the predicament when you’re trying to read carol lyrics and walk simultaneously. So we ingeniously decided to sing songs we knew (think Frosty the Snowman) as we walked and save the more lyrically difficult songs to when we were in front of a trailer (such as We Three Kings – do you know the third line?).

There we were, walking/hobbling through the streets of the Royal Palms trailer park armed with candles and hymnals. Our first stop with an audience was Mississippi’s trailer. Mississippi has the most wonderful deep voice that speaks with authority and dignity. As we sang, I couldn’t stop smiling at Mississippi’s smile as he listened to our haphazard melodies. After our first verse of Joy to the World, Mississippi commented humorously that “we pulled it off.” Someone handed him a candle and he joined our parade to Jimmy’s trailer.

Once we arrived, Jimmy invited us in. We took up his entire living room/kitchen/dining room and we proceeded to sing over some bad rendition of a Victorian novel on the TV and the chirping of his two newest love birds. Although Jimmy isn’t always all there mentally, he has the biggest heart. And the funniest catch phrases!

Jimmy joined us and we headed to Avon’s trailer. Avon grinned all though out our off key Fa-la-la-las and when asked if he wanted to join us, replied with a matter of fact “No thank you” with no further explanation. But he did watch us walk all the way down the street with a big smile on hi s face.

On to Gorde’s. Upon completion of our first carol amidst their small dogs attacking our ankles, Steven asked Gorde’s mother if she had any requests. She said no and that one song was enough! Lloyd and I stayed back to talk to 18-year-old Gorde. Gorde grew up in a card board box and has social skills as such. Gorde volunteered that he was hoping for a really great gift from Santa this year. I asked him what he wanted and he said money – typical teenager!

As we left Gorde’s, Lloyd put his arm around me and told me when his wife (who died just before I met Lloyd) used to go pick up Gorde and take him with her to the dog park when she would go. He told me he picks Gorde up sometimes, but should really get around to doing it more.

Having made the rounds, we headed back to Steven’s for a bit more coffee. Our group now multiplied, we pulled out the folding chairs and everyone took up their usual seats from Friday breakfasts. Steven asked us to share favorite Christmas stories and we proceeded to do so for a bit.

As I left Jimmy gave me an uncharacteristic hug and called me “Little One.” Risa mentioned that she doesn’t have many friends and that we should hang out when I get back from the holidays with my family. Tim and Michelle invited me to stop by their trailer any time.

I had made connections with all of these friends at the breakfasts, but something was different this time. It felt like I was tearing something away as I left. Like I belonged there with them, but I was leaving to go to my place 15 minutes away.

Then I headed home.

I may have had a tear or two run down my cheek as I drove away.

Lloyd called me the next evening to tell me that I had made his Christmas. Next time someone asks him to share his favorite Christmas story, he told me, he’s going to tell this one of us caroling.

And I think I will too.

mustaches and suspenders.

2009-12-21T09:50:00.000-06:00

my favorite picture from the christmas party this weekend was when by simply adding a single accessory, we were dressed as freddie mercury when killer queen began to play:

gift idea.

2009-12-17T09:57:00.000-06:00

i've been reading a book my mom got me when i was home last called "if" by amy carmichael. it's so incredibly insightful. so incredibly simple. yet so incredibly challenging.

the first section is a series of statements that begin with "if" and end with "then i know nothing of calvary love."

for example: "if i am afraid to speak the truth, lest i lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, 'you do not understand,' of because i fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if i put my own good name before the other's highest good, then i know nothing of calvary love."

the next section consists of one page essays about loving others. it's so honest and straightforward - a must read.

i keep reading it over and over (it's a small book and one that need not be read in order) and find myself finding new things each time to think about.

anyways, could be a good gift idea if you're still stuck. word play.

bean.

2009-12-10T19:58:00.000-06:00

when i grow up, i will have a large brown dog named frijol. see - i can make life decisions.

small bulbs of radiant light.

2009-12-08T23:52:00.000-06:00

i don't usually leave a light on in my apartment when i leave for the evening even though it means coming home to a dark place where i must stumble around a bit before i manage to flip on the light switch.

not so tonight.

i was greeted my the warm glow of my christmas tree lights that robyn help me put up this afternoon. and by warm, i do not mean fire hazard warm.

is it dumb to keep them plugged in all day long with the curtains closed?

creativity to a point.

2009-12-07T22:25:00.000-06:00

so i've written a short story. anyone have any ideas as to what i should do with it?

curling up on the chair with a good book.

2009-12-05T16:25:00.001-06:00

i consistently grab the chicken broth from my refrigerator door instead of the almond milk - which, in my defense, have very similar shaped boxes - to add to my india spice chai tea.

as of this afternoon i haven't followed through with the disastrous deed. you would think that i would re-locate the chicken broth to a less prominent spot in my fridge since i don't even know how to cook with it. you would think.

the butcher of royal palms.

2009-12-04T13:36:00.000-06:00

today at breakfast i watched an older gentleman chopping broccoli, peppers, and potatoes for our breakfast tacos. i was a bit concerned that he was going to also chop the tips of his fingers and include them as well into our breakfast feast. there were so many close calls that i can't believe that he left in one piece. seriously, i've never seen such reckless chopping in my life.

how does one recover from such trauma?

motivations.

2009-12-03T13:40:00.000-06:00

i have started composting again thus i have starting eating more things with scraps to compost.

needless to say my writing style has adapted.

2009-11-30T22:07:00.000-06:00

this is officially my 100th post. on this momentous occasion, come with me if you will as we stroll through memory lane back to my very first post from april 12, 2009:

"As I sit on my well worn little blue foam coach and stare at the empty bookshelf I think to myself, “They’re gone. They’re really gone.” I pack them up last night and sent them with my parents to Texas. Well, all but 9 of them. Only these remain:

• Walden by Henry David Thoreau
• Lila by Robert M. Pirsig
• The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint – Exupéry
• Flores para Hitler by Leonard Cohen
• James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
• A Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
• Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
• Night by Elie Eiesel
• The Art of Life by Edith Schaeffer

I chose Henry and Robert because I’ve already started them. Henry to remind me of my desire to live simply. Robert to remind me how I used to think about the philosophy behind morals. Robert affords me some great memories … even in the sequel.

I chose Antoine because I heard about his book 3 times in the same week. Whenever that happens, I go to amazon.com and buy the cheapest version. That was three months ago.

I am on a quest to discover if I have a love of poetry besides what Garrison Keillor has chosen for me. Leonard has graciously included the Spanish translation of each poem next to the English one. I can read a poem in Spanish, then fall back on the English version to see how close my translations are. I believe poetry is not intended to be read in your native language. Other languages are so much more beautiful sounding than your own.

Roald and I have long been friends. I have been neglecting him as of late. This will be remedied in the next 2 months.

A.J. Jacobs is the author of The Know-It-All: One Man’s Quest to Become the Smartest Man in the World. Recommended by my friend Robyn whose literary suggestions I’m constantly trying to catch up with. Loved the first, can’t wait for the second. An early summer must-read. A little of what you can expect:

The Year of Living Biblically answers the question: What if a modern-day American followed every single rule in the Bible as literally as possible. Not just the famous rules – the Ten Commandments and Love Thy Neighbor (though certainly those). But the hundreds of oft-ignored ones: don’t wear clothes of mixed fibers. Grow your beard. Stone adulterers.

Business books seldom make the cut these days. I bought Outliers on a whim. I’m hoping that reading this will give me a shot at success. Don’t let me down, Malcolm. I wisely knew that if I didn’t leave this book with me, it would never be read. I can almost guarantee that Malcolm will be bringing up the rear of the book list.

Elie. Similar to watching Slumdog Millionaire or reading Sold I get the impression that Elie will be a powerful yet haunting read. I was given Night as a generous gift for facilitating. I think that books are the perfect “thank yous.”

Edith was also a gift. A friend from high school. I started reading it then, but didn’t understand it really. I recently thumbed through it to discover that it really does have incredible advice on how to master the art of living. Besides, Francis Schaeffer, Edith’s husband, is one of my high school heroes.

Well, I must go read now. But do I pick up Henry or Robert…?

>sigh<

Life can be so full of difficult decisions…"

november 30st update:
• Walden (pending)
• Lila (pending)
• The Little Prince (check)
• Flores para Hitler (pending)
• James and the Giant Peach (check)
• A Year of Living Biblically (check)
• Outliers (not even started)
• Night (not even started)
• The Art of Life (pending)

and i'm SO behind on club dread.

small yellow bud - oh how you taunt me.

2009-11-25T12:16:00.000-06:00

as i prepare to leave my little apartment for the thanksgiving holidays, i find myself stalling a bit. now don't get me wrong, i am so very excited to see my family, to eat my mother's amazing holiday staples (squash among other things i love!), to throw the football with my dad and brother, to go on bike rides, root for the cowboys, hand wash piles of dishes wearing my grandpa's really old apron, help put up the christmas tree while listening to the classic *nsync chrismas album amidst my dad and brother's over the top eye rolls. i'm even looking forward to the drive because the weather is absolutely stunning today.

i am dragging my heels because i have a bud on one of my flowers on my porch and i keep thinking that if i just wait a few minutes longer, it'll bloom. while this may be slightly crazy, i can't help but think what a shame it would be for me to come back sunday and it to have already bloomed and i missed it. what's that phrase? something about many a flower is destined to bloom unseen.

is it dumb that it makes me a bit sad?

back to packing. focus ardill.

the line of acceptable behavior may now be behind me.

2009-11-23T19:19:00.001-06:00

when i was a little girl and my mom would cook spaghetti, she would hand me a raw noodle when i came in the kitchen to "help."

recently, i've really been enjoying eating a raw noodle here and there as i wait for my oh-so-slow computer to upload something for my etsy page or while i'm waiting for something to finish cooking in the oven.

this evening i think i crossed the line. i'll let you be the judge of me. think an open box of noodles, the december issue of vogue, a cup of hot tea, and a pink floyd soundtrack.

what have i become?

come one, come all.

2009-11-22T10:28:00.003-06:00

this afternoon (starting at 4:00) marks an important day in history for multiple reasons i'm sure, but i'm refering specifically to the launch/re-launch party happening at obee's on w. anderson ln.

i'm super excited for multiple reasons:
*i'll be showcasing some of my etsy store's (jen's whims)new stuff.
*free food and drinks (and i know for a fact that obee's has incredible lebanese food - yum!)
*live music.
*a raffle (with a scarf i made as one of the possible prizes).

i could go on, but i have a lot to do to get ready.
hope to see you there (yes, that means you too, ryan ransdell).

weather update.

2009-11-21T11:04:00.002-06:00

the coldest it's gotten here in austin overnight is about 45 degrees. never mind about it being that time of year...i guess i'm still used to living a bit further north...!

here's a thought:

2009-11-20T22:11:00.002-06:00

do you move to a city because you value the same things or do you value things because the city you live in values them too?

for example, living in austin has made me realize that i really like the concept of supporting local businesses. although i always tended towards buying local when i lived in arkansas when the opportunity presented itself, i can't tell if i am more intentional about it because of it's popularity in austin (did you know that the "keep austin weird" slogan is pushing local businesses?) or if one of the reasons why i really like austin is because we share a similar mindset.

a little ditty for you on this thursday evening.

2009-11-19T21:33:00.001-06:00

this afternoon a self-proclaimed gay man gave me a back massage. when he asked me why i was tense, i simply declared that i was unemployed.

plant perils.

2009-11-18T21:33:00.003-06:00

as i'm sure you know, it's that time again.

the time of the year when every night threatens to freeze, but you never really know whether or not it's worth the considerable effort to bring in all 13 potted plants on the back porch or whether the newscasters are guilty of sensationalism yet again. if it's not going to freeze, there's no way i want so many leaky plants in my oh-so-small kitchen. that being said, i am committed to my plants and their physical health and am more than willing to save their vulnerable lives if the occasion calls for such heroism.

if only someone could invent something to predict whether accurately. i mean, it is the 21st century, right?

does this make me weird?

2009-11-16T10:21:00.003-06:00

i love reading the backs of hair care products.

i read the directions to see if i'm washing my hair correctly. i read the ingredients to see if i can still draw out the molecules. i read the suggested products to use alongside the one in my hand. i love reading the description of what the product boasts to do with my hair.

so. does this make me weird?

smile at the moon like you know her.

2009-11-11T23:33:00.001-06:00

forget the past, my new life goal is to be as adorable as regina spektor.

adventures in photography.

2009-11-10T13:05:00.005-06:00

have you tried taking a picture of the back of your head recently? it's a doosie.

these always make me laugh! i bet for every etsy item i post, i take about 35 pictures. i hate it when i go through and start deleting the ones where i completely miss the product i'm selling and then i end up deleting all of the picture and have to start over! here's a few of the most recent bad photos:

what i ate.

2009-11-09T14:27:00.004-06:00

my recent discovery of fashion blogs has given me an idea. it clearly wouldn't be interesting or inspiring if i took a picture of what i wore everyday. so i started thinking about what would be interesting. and then it hit me: what i ate. not in the "look at this fabulous meal i cooked this evening with small green leafy garnishes" way but in the "wow. i would have never though about putting those things together" way.

for example:

yesterday i woke up and had a bit of condensed chicken and rice soup from a can. a few hours later, i popped some popcorn and added a considerable amount of dark chocolate peanut M&Ms to the bowl. mid afternoon, i baked a piece of chicken with garlic herb marinara sprinkled over it, made a smoothie (soy milk, a banana, oats, cinnamon, and nutmeg), and then joined some friends for chips and salsa.

yeah, maybe i'll stick to my random stories of my day blog.

november learnings (so far).

2009-11-07T15:49:00.002-06:00

* if cooking breakfast for people who have spent time in prison, don't serve pancakes.
* it is not necessarily uncommon for a 25 year old to have a daughter in 6th grade.
* like-minded people are refreshing.
* people who think differently are refreshing.
* the most cost effective way to de-chloronate water is with sodium thiosulfate if excess levels of ammonia aren't a problem.
* you can cook microwave dinners in the oven if necessary.
* tennis is fun.
* i have somehow managed to surround myself with a very supportive, kind group of friends.
* i'm exponentially happier when i have an outlet for creativity.
* i'm exponentially happier when i am serving people.
* community doesn't happen naturally, but everyone has a deeply embedded desire to live in community.
* french press coffee really is a better way to begin each day.
* book club is a necessary component of my lifestyle, an important accessory if you will.
* 2.5 x (supplies + labor + overhead) = retail price

nice to meet you.

2009-11-06T12:34:00.003-06:00

i consider myself a happy person especially as of late. great friends, great weather, great family, great amounts of free time to pursue the things i love doing.

but even so, it is a rare occurrence when i find something that makes me so joyful that i can only clap my hands and emit a high pitched squeal.

this happened to me twice today - and both while i was watching 30 rock. and i don't even really like tv. or general electric.

i can now die in peace.

2009-11-05T15:05:00.005-06:00

are you aware that shortbread cookies only contain three ingredients? and that those three ingredients are common kitchen items?

do you know what this means?

i'll tell you what this means.

it means there there is a recipe that i can pretty much always make. i'm constantly frustrated at wanting to make a dish that i don't have the ingredients for. no longer. never to be disappointed again!

i'm totally bringing shortbread cookies to dinner tonight - no running to the grocery store for one thing that i'd never know how else to use.

all my problems have been solved with this one discovery.

fruit with pits.

2009-11-04T16:57:00.004-06:00

between writing, painting, crocheting, and gardening, i'm plumb out of creativity.

plumb out.

i thought time flew.

2009-11-02T13:21:00.001-06:00

how am i still in my 20s?

texas book festival adventures.

2009-10-31T16:09:00.004-05:00

i have so many stories welling up inside of me:

*developing an enormous crush on one of the authors because of his incredible hair which resulted in me just staring at him for an hour as i directed people to his book signing table.

*realizing that everyone at the book festival was weird and unmarried thus solidifying my theory that i am a nerd because i read.

*accidentally giving my number to a guy who is substantially shorter than me and swears that "he's never done this before". i'm still about confused as to "this" was referring to asking a girl out or the fact that he left a note on my car that he recognized from when he gave me directions to another parking garage.

*not realizing that the homeless man i was talking to about the gardening project i'm working with was not really interested in the project but in me...twenty minutes later.

and the halloween festivities haven't yet begun!

what's a girl to do?

2009-10-29T14:14:00.003-05:00

seriously, though, what is a girl to do when she has been sipping a latte at her favorite coffee shop for a few hours with her stuff strewn about the small yet eclectic table (read: small scraps of paper with random to do lists, a bag, a wallet, a book, and various unnecessary pens and pencils, not to mention her laptop) and the coffee's diuretic tendencies begin to catch up with her?

should she:
a.) pack up everything, go to the restroom on the other side of the coffee shop only to return shortly and have to unpack her stuff again?
b.) leave everything and assume other patron's good will?
c.) pack up only things of monetary value?
d.) give up and go home?
e.) ask the college student across the way to watch her stuff?

i'm not saying this is what everyone should choose, but i think i'm going with d this afternoon.

honestly, caffeine can only be expected to do so much.

2009-10-28T17:43:00.004-05:00

i think they're remodeling the apartment above me. i think that, like vampires, the prefer to work at night.

that being said, it's 5:45pm and i'm sooooo sleeeeepppyy.

a few years (?) too late.

2009-10-27T17:23:00.003-05:00

every time i think i've discovered a new, interesting color combination (like an orange flower on a blue canvas background or yellow and purple pansies), it turns out that they're opposite each other on the color wheel.

ugh, who invented that anyways? whoever it was, i bet they're kicking themselves for not naming it after themselves like most scientists do with their theories.

are boots really made for walking?

2009-10-26T10:02:00.002-05:00

i am saddened and disheartened that i do not own a pair of rain boots for today's weather...and apparently i wanted everyone to know.

any suggestions on how to keep it from raining directly into your boots when wearing them with shorts?

investigative, artistic, social.

2009-10-25T14:12:00.002-05:00

i was attempting to take a test to see which career path i should take. apparently i'm a bit too bifurcated to pick just one career (or trifurcated - is that even a thing?).

here's what they asked me to choose between:

do you like to...

play a musical instrument
write stories, poetry, music
sing, act, dance
design fashions or interiors
attend concerts, theaters, art exhibits
read fiction, plays, and poetry
work on crafts
take photographs
express yourself creatively
deal with ambiguous ideas?

or are any of the following your hobbies...

book club
board games
visiting museums?

or...

volunteering with social action groups
writing letters
joining community organizations
caring for children
religious activities
going to parties
playing team sports?

this is not helping me narrow down what i want to do. in fact, it's doing just the opposite.

sigh.

so put another dime in the jutebox baby.

2009-10-24T15:13:00.004-05:00

my new found joy when i'm working on an art project is to listen to itunes - BUT instead of making a playlist or selecting a specific artist, lately i've been listening to all of my music on shuffle.

i've discovered songs that i had forgotten i own (*she likes me for me*)
i've discovered songs that take me back to when my brother would drive me to high school (*tangerine*)
i've discovered songs that i wish i had forgotten i own (*passenger seat*)
i've discovered songs that remind me of going to their concert with friends (*stick shifts and safety belts* *til kingdom come* *sad, sad city* *gravity* *the way i am*)

i've also discovered semi-disturbing themes in my music collection such as angry women artists and the sixties.

connecting art and ideas.

2009-10-22T16:37:00.004-05:00

i like wandering through museums.
i like wondering what the next room will hold.
i like attempting a guilty look as the security guard walks by for the hundredth time.
i like wondering why the artist decided a cape was necessary on the larger than life naked statue.
i like that thursdays are free making art available to the masses.
i like that i got in trouble for writing in pen and that the guard had to ask if what i was writing with was a pen when, in fact, it was a teal sharpee.
i like that some of the artists have a crazy sense of humor that seems to shout through the silence of the rooms.
i like the wood floors that occasionally squeak and the high lighted ceilings.
i like leaving the modern art rooms for last.
i like that continental airlines is the official airlines of the jack s. blanton museum of art.
i like that after going to a museum i'm inspired to paint rather than am intimidated.

changing of the seasons.

2009-10-22T11:47:00.000-05:00

fall makes me want to crochet.

it's natural. or is it?

2009-10-21T20:24:00.004-05:00

all throughout college, i wore waterproof mascara but didn't own any eye makeup remover. i think i used this to make myself feel better about myself - i thought how i looked when i woke up was natural, and i wanted to be naturally beautiful. (therefore if i look okay when i wake up i must be naturally beautiful.)

i think just within the last few years, i'm becoming more and more comfortable with how i look without any make up - granted, i don't wear much. but there's still something in me that revers natural beauty over made up beauty.

maybe this is because i don't know how to make my self up.

ugh, another defense mechanism.

not a cloud in the sky - literally and proverbally.

2009-10-17T23:31:00.004-05:00

it's like i explained to robyn tonight: perfect weather is when it's just a bit cool in the shade, but a minute in the sun will warm you up slowly, but you never get hot.

i guess it's kind of like being in a slow cooking oven on low. today's weather in austin was like being in a slow cooking oven on low.

i don't know why, but i like the sound of that.

i'll have more of that, please.

mama said there'd be days like this.

2009-10-14T21:53:00.006-05:00

after an exceptionally long day at work, the way this evening panned out couldn't have been better. observe:

1.) i caught up with one of my favorite people ever (and i don't use the phrase "favorite people ever" lightly) on the phone on my way home from work rendering the negative power of commuting through traffic useless.

2.) my dinner consisted of left over supermarket sushi, a bowl of popcorn (lightly seasoned with lawry salt), and some croutons accompanied with a big glass of ice water - just what i was in the mood for - oh, and a few episodes of 30 rock in an attempt to finish season 3 before season 4's debut tomorrow.

3.) made plans to watch aforementioned debut and have pretty much been smiling ever since.

4.) went downtown - couldn't find a parking space anywhere near 4th street, so i parked far away and had a peaceful walk through sky scrapers and car garages. unlike in the other big city i've lived in recently, there were no cat calls or scary people lurking in the alleys. note to self: must find more excuses to walk around downtown soon.

5.) went to fado's irish pub to watch the united states - costa rica world cup qualifier. (the u.s. tied things up in stoppage time off of a beautiful corner kick knocking costa rica out of the running and moving honduras up!)

6.) and now i'm off to fall asleep to a new book of poetry i picked up this weekend.

all in all - a rather nice evening.

an oxymoron right in my own kitchen.

2009-10-13T18:32:00.004-05:00

i believe that coffee smells like the morning AND it smells good. this, although a seeming contradiction, must somehow be possible.

and anyone who has ever lived with me or mistakenly woken me up in the morning knows how confusing the aforementioned statement truly is.

fall's finishing touches.

2009-10-12T19:03:00.006-05:00

since the beginning of this year, i've started reading vogue and thus have become more aware of fashion, labels, and designers.

since the beginning of time, i've not had any sort of innate fashion sense or a job that could support such an addiction.

therein lies my own personal catch 22. now i know what designers i will never own. i guess there are worse problems to have. in fact, at least 9 come to mind immediately.

tiredness.

2009-10-11T23:38:00.000-05:00

if in doubt, always make fabulous new year's plans.

blended up black beans look unappetizing.

2009-10-08T18:44:00.004-05:00

i decided i wanted to drift from my homemade chunky salsa routine for dinner and thought i'd try putting it in the blender to make it simply homemade salsa.

newsflash - what things look like as well as their texture play a very important role in how they taste.

needless to say i'm still hungry. somehow, though, not hungry enough to choke that stuff down.

flowers for algernon.

2009-10-06T18:06:00.004-05:00

while i am aware that it is october, i am also aware that most of the boundaries in my life are self-imposed. i refuse to succumb to general insight in this case.

i somehow convinced the other bridesmaids at robyn's wedding in august that i should get to take home the little package of seeds that were in the goodie bag from the house we stayed in. a surprisingly easy fight.

anyways, i just now got around to planting them and look at them go! who says you can't start a flower garden in october now?

a letter of intent.

2009-10-04T21:30:00.003-05:00

dear brain,

please stop over thinking everything rendering me useless both in social settings and in life decisions. i'm tired of it and i want you to quit.

sincerely,
jen ardill

crossing things off the preverbial list.

2009-10-04T17:37:00.003-05:00

i get exasperated at the quick overturn of music, fashion, and pop-culture in general and i just figured out why: i like to make a list and cross things off. for example, when it comes to 18th century literature, the list has been made and nothing's really changing. but current things, the list just keeps changing and i give up.

that's why i have friends who send me music and tell me what to wear and recommend modern literature.

wow, it makes sense now...!

well, essentially, at least.

2009-10-03T23:34:00.005-05:00

today i paid money to stand in the rain for hours.
today i paid money to have people throw glow sticks in my general direction.
today i paid money to stand in line for rapidly filling up port-o-potties for at least 20 minutes.
today i paid money to stand in a large group of people, but not really talk to them.
today i paid money to be completely covered in dirt from my knees down.
today i paid money to walk around a crowed park carrying my flip-flops in an attempt to keep them from being sucked into the mud with every step.

and it was worth every penny.

shop girl.

2009-10-01T21:56:00.002-05:00

such an interesting movie.

a few things i need to process:
-how does steve martin manage not being creepy?
-what is love?

(a special thanks to ms. rikki marler for the tonight's movie selection.)