so apparently i'm not a designer?

i've been working on a brochure for the trailer park ministry (and a website - www.kprojectmlf.wordpress.com) and it has become very clear to me why people get degrees in these things before they attempt them (or at the very least date people who know how to work with wordpress...)

i'm feeling much more confident about the site than the pamphlet oddly enough.

i have the ideas, but how do i get them to the computer? i think possibly, that using microsoft paint isn't super helpful but i don't know what else to use.

be honest, are handmade brochures tacky?
be honest, is anyone with a graphic design degree free tomorrow?