i don't think it matters which came first.

in an attempt to eat something different for dinner than the ever-prolific squash that can't seem to stop growing in our gardens and inspired by a mistake the chef made from dinner last night, i piled my plate high with couscous, topped it with baked chicken, and completed the stack with a sunny side up egg. about 3/4 of the way through my meal, i realized how sick it is to eat chicken topped with an egg.

needless to say i didn't finish my meal.

needless to say i'm still hungry.

a run on sentence for you.

for as long as i can remember i've had this gripping fear that if i ever used the handicap stall in the bathroom when all the other stalls weren't in use, that when i opened the stall door to leave i would see a very, very sad lady in a wheelchair shifting uncomfortably and shaking her head at me as she gestures at the other open stalls that i could have used that she can't with a confused look in her eye.

the end.

blurry lines of vision.

so my friend rikki send me this fabulous pair of glasses that i'm tempted to wear daily. they're what she likes to call invisible glasses. i'll let you figure out what she means by that.

lately when i wear them to the office and take them off to clean them, i have this almost un-ignorable urge to continue in my fantasy world and pretend like i'm wearing glasses to correct my lazy eye.

somehow this seem to cross the line between hipster fashion and living a lie.

but oh! what a blurry line it has become.

accidental liar.

i would like to recant my last blog post. i need the caffeine to get rid of this headache.

coffee. a beverage.

this morning i made a monumental discovery. although i love coffee, i don't drink it for the caffeine to help me wake up in the morning as i has once assumed. this realization became apparent when i left my freshly bought coffee at my friend's house for the 2nd time. i woke up this morning, started the hot water for my little french press and dumped in my accidentally bought decaf coffee grounds from the freezer.

i don't need the caffeine. i need the morning routine that waking up and making coffee has become.

bring on the decaf.

or maybe i'll start a new original morning routine. one that entails lots and lots of paper mache. 

gifted uniquely.

i feel as though i have a unique sense of humor and that has uniquely equipped me to work with some of the residents of the community i serve. observe:

me: how are you this morning?
resident: not good at all.
me: oh no! why not? what happened?
resident: i hate this trailer park.
me: why?
resident: well, because i can't swim.

and then i proceeded to grin the rest of the morning. i love missing lines of thinking. sometimes when someone asks me how i'm doing, i'd like to tell them matter of factly that i'm doing well because i had fish for dinner last week.

i also like using words in the wrong figure of speak. like making "fact" into an adverb as seen above. especially if you have to over-enunciate for the word to be understood and open your jaw really widely.

the clash.

i wonder if sometimes you just have to make a decision. you weight the facts the best you can, and then you just decide. if you're wrong, at least you tried. what does it even look like to make decisions based upon your heart if your feeling can't be trusted because they come and go. what if i only feel the way i do because of the last movie i happened to watch? what if i feel differently tomorrow?

blerg.