texas book festival adventures.

i have so many stories welling up inside of me:

*developing an enormous crush on one of the authors because of his incredible hair which resulted in me just staring at him for an hour as i directed people to his book signing table.

*realizing that everyone at the book festival was weird and unmarried thus solidifying my theory that i am a nerd because i read.

*accidentally giving my number to a guy who is substantially shorter than me and swears that "he's never done this before". i'm still about confused as to "this" was referring to asking a girl out or the fact that he left a note on my car that he recognized from when he gave me directions to another parking garage.

*not realizing that the homeless man i was talking to about the gardening project i'm working with was not really interested in the project but in me...twenty minutes later.

and the halloween festivities haven't yet begun!

what's a girl to do?

seriously, though, what is a girl to do when she has been sipping a latte at her favorite coffee shop for a few hours with her stuff strewn about the small yet eclectic table (read: small scraps of paper with random to do lists, a bag, a wallet, a book, and various unnecessary pens and pencils, not to mention her laptop) and the coffee's diuretic tendencies begin to catch up with her?

should she:
a.) pack up everything, go to the restroom on the other side of the coffee shop only to return shortly and have to unpack her stuff again?
b.) leave everything and assume other patron's good will?
c.) pack up only things of monetary value?
d.) give up and go home?
e.) ask the college student across the way to watch her stuff?

i'm not saying this is what everyone should choose, but i think i'm going with d this afternoon.

honestly, caffeine can only be expected to do so much.

i think they're remodeling the apartment above me. i think that, like vampires, the prefer to work at night.

that being said, it's 5:45pm and i'm sooooo sleeeeepppyy.

a few years (?) too late.

every time i think i've discovered a new, interesting color combination (like an orange flower on a blue canvas background or yellow and purple pansies), it turns out that they're opposite each other on the color wheel.

ugh, who invented that anyways? whoever it was, i bet they're kicking themselves for not naming it after themselves like most scientists do with their theories.

are boots really made for walking?

i am saddened and disheartened that i do not own a pair of rain boots for today's weather...and apparently i wanted everyone to know.

any suggestions on how to keep it from raining directly into your boots when wearing them with shorts?

investigative, artistic, social.

i was attempting to take a test to see which career path i should take. apparently i'm a bit too bifurcated to pick just one career (or trifurcated - is that even a thing?).

here's what they asked me to choose between:

do you like to...

play a musical instrument
write stories, poetry, music
sing, act, dance
design fashions or interiors
attend concerts, theaters, art exhibits
read fiction, plays, and poetry
work on crafts
take photographs
express yourself creatively
deal with ambiguous ideas?

or are any of the following your hobbies...

book club
board games
visiting museums?

or...

volunteering with social action groups
writing letters
joining community organizations
caring for children
religious activities
going to parties
playing team sports?

this is not helping me narrow down what i want to do. in fact, it's doing just the opposite.

sigh.

so put another dime in the jutebox baby.

my new found joy when i'm working on an art project is to listen to itunes - BUT instead of making a playlist or selecting a specific artist, lately i've been listening to all of my music on shuffle.

i've discovered songs that i had forgotten i own (*she likes me for me*)
i've discovered songs that take me back to when my brother would drive me to high school (*tangerine*)
i've discovered songs that i wish i had forgotten i own (*passenger seat*)
i've discovered songs that remind me of going to their concert with friends (*stick shifts and safety belts* *til kingdom come* *sad, sad city* *gravity* *the way i am*)

i've also discovered semi-disturbing themes in my music collection such as angry women artists and the sixties.

connecting art and ideas.

i like wandering through museums.
i like wondering what the next room will hold.
i like attempting a guilty look as the security guard walks by for the hundredth time.
i like wondering why the artist decided a cape was necessary on the larger than life naked statue.
i like that thursdays are free making art available to the masses.
i like that i got in trouble for writing in pen and that the guard had to ask if what i was writing with was a pen when, in fact, it was a teal sharpee.
i like that some of the artists have a crazy sense of humor that seems to shout through the silence of the rooms.
i like the wood floors that occasionally squeak and the high lighted ceilings.
i like leaving the modern art rooms for last.
i like that continental airlines is the official airlines of the jack s. blanton museum of art.
i like that after going to a museum i'm inspired to paint rather than am intimidated.

changing of the seasons.

fall makes me want to crochet.

it's natural. or is it?

all throughout college, i wore waterproof mascara but didn't own any eye makeup remover. i think i used this to make myself feel better about myself - i thought how i looked when i woke up was natural, and i wanted to be naturally beautiful. (therefore if i look okay when i wake up i must be naturally beautiful.)

i think just within the last few years, i'm becoming more and more comfortable with how i look without any make up - granted, i don't wear much. but there's still something in me that revers natural beauty over made up beauty.

maybe this is because i don't know how to make my self up.

ugh, another defense mechanism.

not a cloud in the sky - literally and proverbally.

it's like i explained to robyn tonight: perfect weather is when it's just a bit cool in the shade, but a minute in the sun will warm you up slowly, but you never get hot.

i guess it's kind of like being in a slow cooking oven on low. today's weather in austin was like being in a slow cooking oven on low.

i don't know why, but i like the sound of that.

i'll have more of that, please.

mama said there'd be days like this.

after an exceptionally long day at work, the way this evening panned out couldn't have been better. observe:

1.) i caught up with one of my favorite people ever (and i don't use the phrase "favorite people ever" lightly) on the phone on my way home from work rendering the negative power of commuting through traffic useless.

2.) my dinner consisted of left over supermarket sushi, a bowl of popcorn (lightly seasoned with lawry salt), and some croutons accompanied with a big glass of ice water - just what i was in the mood for - oh, and a few episodes of 30 rock in an attempt to finish season 3 before season 4's debut tomorrow.

3.) made plans to watch aforementioned debut and have pretty much been smiling ever since.

4.) went downtown - couldn't find a parking space anywhere near 4th street, so i parked far away and had a peaceful walk through sky scrapers and car garages. unlike in the other big city i've lived in recently, there were no cat calls or scary people lurking in the alleys. note to self: must find more excuses to walk around downtown soon.

5.) went to fado's irish pub to watch the united states - costa rica world cup qualifier. (the u.s. tied things up in stoppage time off of a beautiful corner kick knocking costa rica out of the running and moving honduras up!)

6.) and now i'm off to fall asleep to a new book of poetry i picked up this weekend.

all in all - a rather nice evening.

an oxymoron right in my own kitchen.

i believe that coffee smells like the morning AND it smells good. this, although a seeming contradiction, must somehow be possible.

and anyone who has ever lived with me or mistakenly woken me up in the morning knows how confusing the aforementioned statement truly is.

fall's finishing touches.

since the beginning of this year, i've started reading vogue and thus have become more aware of fashion, labels, and designers.

since the beginning of time, i've not had any sort of innate fashion sense or a job that could support such an addiction.

therein lies my own personal catch 22. now i know what designers i will never own. i guess there are worse problems to have. in fact, at least 9 come to mind immediately.

tiredness.

if in doubt, always make fabulous new year's plans.

blended up black beans look unappetizing.

i decided i wanted to drift from my homemade chunky salsa routine for dinner and thought i'd try putting it in the blender to make it simply homemade salsa.

newsflash - what things look like as well as their texture play a very important role in how they taste.

needless to say i'm still hungry. somehow, though, not hungry enough to choke that stuff down.

flowers for algernon.

while i am aware that it is october, i am also aware that most of the boundaries in my life are self-imposed. i refuse to succumb to general insight in this case.

i somehow convinced the other bridesmaids at robyn's wedding in august that i should get to take home the little package of seeds that were in the goodie bag from the house we stayed in. a surprisingly easy fight.

anyways, i just now got around to planting them and look at them go! who says you can't start a flower garden in october now?

a letter of intent.

dear brain,

please stop over thinking everything rendering me useless both in social settings and in life decisions. i'm tired of it and i want you to quit.

sincerely,
jen ardill

crossing things off the preverbial list.

i get exasperated at the quick overturn of music, fashion, and pop-culture in general and i just figured out why: i like to make a list and cross things off. for example, when it comes to 18th century literature, the list has been made and nothing's really changing. but current things, the list just keeps changing and i give up.

that's why i have friends who send me music and tell me what to wear and recommend modern literature.

wow, it makes sense now...!

well, essentially, at least.

today i paid money to stand in the rain for hours.
today i paid money to have people throw glow sticks in my general direction.
today i paid money to stand in line for rapidly filling up port-o-potties for at least 20 minutes.
today i paid money to stand in a large group of people, but not really talk to them.
today i paid money to be completely covered in dirt from my knees down.
today i paid money to walk around a crowed park carrying my flip-flops in an attempt to keep them from being sucked into the mud with every step.

and it was worth every penny.

shop girl.

such an interesting movie.

a few things i need to process:
-how does steve martin manage not being creepy?
-what is love?

(a special thanks to ms. rikki marler for the tonight's movie selection.)