the plan.

tonight's agenda: a book and a hot cup of tea.

and yes, i'm 25.

and i can't imagine a better end today.

wisdom from the chinese food industry.

i opened up my fortune cookie full of excitement. what would my fortune be for today? it said and i quote: digital circuits are made from analog parts.

yeah. wow.

now while i don't admit this often, deep (very, very deep) down i am a romantic. since this fortune clearly was ridiculous, and not what i was hoping for, i went over and got another one. my second fortune said and i quote: you or a close friend will be married soon.

now while very, very deep down i am a romantic, this was a bit much for me. i guess it serves me right for going in for a second fortune.

get it together fortune cookie message writers. when i go eat chinese food with my dad, he and i always make up fortunes for each other. some of the ones that come to mind:
-the person sitting across from you is not planning on paying for their meal.
-look both ways before you cross the street this week.
-getting a hair cut tomorrow would not be in your best interest.

anyways, here's what today's fortune should have been if it were to have been both correct and in spanish instead of chinese:
esta tan cansada de las canciones (y peliculas) de amor - simple hablan de un final feliz. bien sabamos que en la vida nunca funcion asi...por lo menos para ti.

waking up smarter then when i went to sleep somehow.

for some reason i woke up this morning with an epiphany and it is as follows: a husband isn't just someone to do something with when you're bored. that being noted, i don't think i'm ready for a real relationship anytime soon.

call if off, boys who are knocking at my door.

oh wait...

to those who don't enjoy grocery shopping.

a few suggestions:

-make a grocery list with thin, colorful sharpies.
-always include one embarrassing item on the list to spice things up.
-wear something a bit strange (people's sideways glances are priceless).
-while there, count how many times you can make awkward eye contact with other shoppers.
-take frequent breaks (and by breaks i mean sit in your shopping cart).
-always buy at least one item that you don't need but makes you smile.

well, i'm off to make my colorful shopping list.

fine. i'm quirky.

my netflix page has kindly suggested that, based upon my previous movie selection, i should pick from a certain list of movies in the "quirky fiction with a strong female lead" genre.

is everyone doomed to gravitate to watching their own lives on film?

recipe for a successful girl's weekend.

4 friends
1 lake house
1 season of buffy the vampire slayer
1 canoe
2 fishing poles
1 paddle boat
2 jet skis
1 tube
4 handles
14 cups of coffee
25 pigs in a blanket
4 fashion magazines

in a medium sized town, combine friends, lake house, and buffy, for 2 days. slowly add the canoe, fishing poles, paddle boat, tube and handles until only small lumps remain. combine remaining ingredients to taste. let sit for a few hours on the couch.

repeat once every 4 weeks.

makes weird pictures.

i heart garage sale leftovers.

once or twice a year my mom and ladies in her cancer support group have a garage sale to raise money for cancer research. i've never been able to go and this year was no exception. i was, however, given the once in a lifetime opportunity to rummage through the left overs before they were taken to salvation army.

just a few of the amazing steals i ended up with-

1.) really old pillowcases with great prints.
2.) a sailboat bag from 1981.
3.) assorted small, odd baskets.
4.) vhs and cassette storage
5.) 3 vintage chairs.
6.) some old dress patterns from the 70s.
7.) place mats.
8.) an extra large kid's dress.

let the creativity begin.

what dreams may come.

seriously - i had the weirdest dream last night.

first of all, i was playing with a group of kids at an orphanage (it was kind of a mix between the orphanage i worked at in bolivia and the nutrition center i volunteered at in honduras). i was braiding this little girl's hair, but i didn't have a hair tie and the braids, of course, kept coming out. then this guy i met at robyn's wedding (whose hair had grown way out, incidentally) gave me a hair tie and i finished braiding and we proceeded to play some game with the kids that was somehow a cross between red rover and duck, duck, goose. the dream wasn't cute, but serious, which i find odd for such a random dream.

scene change.

but i can't seem to remember what came next. all i know is that it was equally random and continued in the "worlds colliding" theme.

that's it.

innovation.

is there a magazine with 25-30 year old women as the target market?
anyone want to start a magazine with me?

it's time.

you know when you decide that you need a hair cut and then all you can think about is that your hair needs cutting? every pair of scissors becomes a temptation to do the deed yourself. every glance in the mirror in the mornings seems to be your split ends mocking you. your bangs keep falling down into your eyes rendering you temporarily blinded every time you look left too quickly. every girl with short hair that walks by seems to be taunting the ragged mop on your head that you used to call a hairstyle.

this is my current predicament.
please come hide the scissors in my apartment.

well, maybe i'll just trim a bit off....

on my lunch break.

don't you just hate reading a funny book in public?

not all created equal.

thanks to tons of suave looking panamanians, when i got back from my week in panama i ordered a pair of white skinny jeans online.

lesson 1: never order jeans online.
lesson 2: never order jeans white AND skinny without trying them on.

i don't wear them very often, but every once in a long while i'll see them hanging innocently in my closet and put them on and forget what they've done to me in the past. today was one of those days.

there are two reason why i have grown to hate these pants:
reason 1: throughout the day the waist stretches out to an absurd width.
reason 2: throughout the day the ankle gets progressively smaller and works its way up my calf.

i hope you have an accurate mental picture of me leaving the office.
ridiculous.

needless to say, i'm going to be a bit more thoughtful about what i wear to work tomorrow.

go carolina.

and with no further ado, i present to you, david sadaris:

"anyone who watches even the slightest amount of tv is familiar with the scene: an agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. the door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. the agent then says, 'i'm going to have to ask you to come with me.'

they're always remarkable calm, these agents. if asked "why do i need to go anywhere with you?' they'll straighten their shirt cuffs or idly brush stray hairs from the sleeves of their sport coats and say, 'oh, i think we both know why.'

the suspect then chooses between doing things the hard way and doing things the easy way, and the scene ends with either gunfire or the gentlemanly application of handcuffs. occasionally it's a case of mistaken identity, but most often the suspect knows exactly why he's being taken. it seems he's been expecting this to happen. the anticipation has ruled his life, and now, finally, the wait is over. you're sometimes let to believe that this person is actually relieved, but i've never bought it. though it probably has its moments, the average day spent in hiding is bound to beat the average day spent in prison. when it come time to decide who gets the bottom bunk, i think anyone would agree that there's a lot to be said for doing things the hard way."

i too, will choose to do things the hard way...at least today i will.

landlord, where are you?

on friday night, i noticed the light in my refrigerator was out. on saturday morning i realized that the refrigerator had actually stopped working all together along with everything else requiring electricity on that side of the kitchen. needless to say, everything in my refrigerator and freezer has spoiled.

yesterday, i went to turn off my overhead light/fan in my bedroom. i pushed the switch down, which usually successfully turns off the light/fan. not last night.

today i was relaxing on my couch and decided to turn on my candle warmer to mask the faint rotten smell wafting from the kitchen. after changing it to a plug that worked (which took a while to find these days), french vanilla quickly began to smell like slightly singed vanilla. knowing from my background in chemistry to trust my keen sense of smell, i lifted the candle off and saw that the plastic on the warmer had melted almost completely and had begun to burn a hole on the book is sat upon. i turned it off.

as i type now, the "f" key on the keyboard is sticking turning every "feature" into an "eature."

now i know that it is labor day, but will somebody PLEASE tell my furniture and appliances that they can't have the day off?

moon river and me.

for the last few weeks, i've not been sleeping great. i don't know why, i've even regulated my sleeping habit as suggested by doctors (i think). i would just lay awake for what felt like hours waiting for my little alarm to go off at 7:00am.

this week i have had a new strategy. i've been going to bed later and only when i'm really, really sleepy. for the most part, i think it's working.

some time in the middle of the night, last night, i sat up with a start only to see a HUGE full moon outside the top of my window (see diagram below).


it's been bothering me all day.

recycling - a better way to live.

there is something about resale shopping that soothes the soul.

the joys of the final steps of unpacking.

so i've been avoiding this one last section of the apartment unpacking process. my closet that will serve as storage.

what's a 25 year old girl supposed to do with old cd cases of cds that were stolen out of her car in high school? or junior high pictures that everyone would rather didn't exist? or her dress from the chritmas dance her junior year of high school?

it might be time to throw some stuff away. and thus the life purge begins. i'm going to need some good music for this. perhaps patrick wolf?