and with no further ado, i present to you, david sadaris:
"anyone who watches even the slightest amount of tv is familiar with the scene: an agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. the door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. the agent then says, 'i'm going to have to ask you to come with me.'
they're always remarkable calm, these agents. if asked "why do i need to go anywhere with you?' they'll straighten their shirt cuffs or idly brush stray hairs from the sleeves of their sport coats and say, 'oh, i think we both know why.'
the suspect then chooses between doing things the hard way and doing things the easy way, and the scene ends with either gunfire or the gentlemanly application of handcuffs. occasionally it's a case of mistaken identity, but most often the suspect knows exactly why he's being taken. it seems he's been expecting this to happen. the anticipation has ruled his life, and now, finally, the wait is over. you're sometimes let to believe that this person is actually relieved, but i've never bought it. though it probably has its moments, the average day spent in hiding is bound to beat the average day spent in prison. when it come time to decide who gets the bottom bunk, i think anyone would agree that there's a lot to be said for doing things the hard way."
i too, will choose to do things the hard way...at least today i will.
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